The quality of a lie

So many times in my life, people have fed me lies
So many lies, I lost count

Lies about them, lies about me, lies about them with me, lies about them with someone else

The lies just kept on coming-- after time, I realized that I'm done believing what people say to me

I am to the point where the compliments, the sweet words, the so-called "truth," just comes in one ear and stumbles out the other
 ...... the words stop, for a sweet second, and I appreciate them

then reality hits, and I remember, 

the quality of a lie

The way it makes me feel good, makes me feel worth something, makes me feel like I actually mean to this person, 

what 

they 

say 

I 

do

Then the lie comes alive, and I realize what it really was to start out with-- an untrue, heart-wrenching,

 false commitment to my thoughts

I got so tired of hearing these lies,
       and I don't know any other way--
                  it's unfortunate really,

because I honestly want to believe the words you say